Soft, Medium or Firm Pillow: How to Choose

By Snoozyn · Updated October 2026

Choosing a soft, medium or firm pillow is harder than it sounds, because the words do not mean the same thing everywhere: one maker's medium is another's firm. This guide explains what the three grades describe, how firmness and height work together, and how to work out which you like.

What firmness actually measures

Firmness is resistance. Press the flat of your hand into the middle of a pillow: a soft one lets your hand sink a long way with little push back; a firm one stops your hand sooner and springs back quickly when you lift it. It is set mainly by how much fill is in the pillow and what that fill is made of.

Loft is a different thing. It is the height of the pillow when it is plumped and lying flat. A pillow can be high and soft, so it looks full but squashes right down, or lower and firm, so it looks modest but holds its shape. It is easy to mix the two up and buy a firm pillow for height, or a soft one expecting it to be low.

Soft, medium or firm pillow: the three feels compared

The right-hand column is what people commonly say they prefer, not a rule. Plenty of side sleepers like a soft pillow folded double, and plenty of front sleepers use none at all.

Four questions that point you to a feel

1. Do you like to sink in or lie on top?

If you like your head to settle into the pillow and feel surrounded, you will probably prefer soft. If you like to feel the pillow under you, holding its shape, go firmer.

2. How do you usually fall asleep?

Position matters because it changes how much height you notice. Lying on your side, a soft pillow can feel as if it has disappeared under you, which is why many side sleepers reach for something firmer. Lying on your front, a tall firm pillow can feel like too much, so many people prefer something soft and flat. On your back, medium is the common middle ground.

3. Do you fold, bunch or stack your pillows?

If you fold your pillow in half every night, you are telling yourself it is too soft or too low. If you push it down flat or sleep with it half off the bed, it may be too firm. Two soft pillows stacked will feel different from one firm one: softer on top, with more height overall.

4. What is your mattress like?

On a soft mattress you sink lower, and some people find they then prefer a slightly lower pillow. On a firm mattress the opposite can be true. It is worth bearing in mind if you have recently changed mattress.

How to test a pillow's firmness at home

• The hand press. Press your palm into the centre and count how far it sinks. Do the same on a pillow you know you like, and compare.
• The fold. Fold the pillow in half and let go. A firm pillow springs open straight away; a soft one opens slowly; a worn one stays folded. That last one is a sign it is time for a new pillow, which we cover in how often to replace pillows.
• A few nights. A new fibre pillow can feel fuller at first while the fill settles, so give it a few nights before deciding.

Firmness changes over time

Every fibre pillow softens with use. The fill gets pressed together night after night, so a firm pillow gradually turns medium and a medium turns soft. Fluffing it each morning keeps the fill spread evenly; our guide to fluffing a pillow shows how. If you are between two grades, that is one reason to pick the firmer one.

The feels we sell

We sell two pillow inserts, both filled with synthetic polyester fibre and both in standard (48 × 73.5 × 20 cm) and king (50 × 90 × 20 cm).

• Classic microfibre pillow insert: one feel, medium-firm, with 700 g of fill in the standard and 900 g in the king. Standard £23.90, king £29.90.
• Microgel pillow insert: a plush, down-like cluster fill with no feathers, in soft, medium or firm. A standard costs £33.90 soft, £37.90 medium or £41.90 firm.

Because both are sold singly as well as in pairs, two people sharing a bed can each have their own feel. If you want to understand what is inside each one, read microgel vs microfibre pillows.

Frequently asked questions

What is the difference between a soft and a firm pillow?

A soft pillow gives a lot when you press into it and squashes down low. A firm pillow pushes back and keeps its height. The difference comes mainly from how much fill is inside and what the fill is.

Is a medium pillow a good choice if I am not sure?

Yes. Medium is the middle of the range, so it is a sensible choice for a guest bed, a gift or anyone who changes position a lot through the night.

What pillow firmness do side sleepers prefer?

Many side sleepers prefer a firm or medium-firm pillow with a high loft, because a soft one can feel as if it flattens away underneath them. Some like a soft pillow folded double instead.

What pillow firmness do front sleepers prefer?

Many front sleepers prefer a soft, low pillow that squashes almost flat, because a tall firm pillow can feel like too much height when lying face down.

Is firmness the same as loft?

No. Firmness is how much the pillow resists when you press it, and loft is how tall it stands. A pillow can be high and soft or low and firm.

Do pillows get softer over time?

Yes. Fibre fill compresses with use, so a pillow gradually feels softer and lower. Fluffing it daily helps it keep an even shape for longer.